Neologisms

This is something my sister sent me that I found quite amusing. Apologies to anyone who has already encountered this...

Annual Neologism Contest
Once again The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. The winners are:
1. Coffee (n.) the person upon whom one coughs
2. Flabbergasted (adj.) appalled over how much weight you have gained
3. Abdicate (v.) to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach
4. Esplanade (v.) to attempt an explanation while drunk
5. Willy-nilly (adj.) impotent
6. Negligent (adj.) describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown
7. Lymph (v.) to walk with a lisp
8. Gargoyle (n.) olive-flavored mouthwash
9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller
10. Balderdash (n.) a rapidly receding hairline
11. Testicle (n.) a humorous question on an exam
12. Rectitude (n.) the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists
13. Pokemon (n.) a Rastafarian proctologist
14. Oyster (n.) a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.) the belief that when you die, your soul flies onto the roof and gets stuck there
16. Circumvent (n.) an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men

The Warrior Princess

I'm a fighter. She's a better fighter.
My mom is a faded fighter. She sent me a knitted cap (that she made). I thanked her profusely for it. I will actually wear it (I will keep it in the motorcycle to wear after I remove the helmet and have squished- down, thinning, weird- looking hair that needs to be hidden).
She stressed me out big time this summer by bringing up old shit that she previously said we would not talk about AND she said it in front of my daughter (who knows nothing of the Traumatic Event). Gee whiz, ma. Luckily the Warrior Princess opted not to know more on the subject.
I think it is interesting that people with blighted childhoods (especially with a mentally ill parent) can turn out ok, but troubled or depressed (like BG) and they can also go to the dark side (like 'she who shall not be named'). What flips the switch in either direction? I feel that it made me very empathetic towards the suffering of others, but prone to depression. I have a nugget of naughtiness in me though, that I can tell would have flourished under different circumstances. Still, my driving desire is to give my children a good and happy childhood. That I believe I have done. Test Case has his life back in a bit of order, so no more seizures, hopefully (that's the sound of me crossing myself). Football Playin' Man got moved to tight end so he is a happy camper (my rock- when he's happy- so am I) So its all good, for now....
I feel very thankful and yes, content.

Nothing Says Party Like....

a pig with a purple party hat hanging out in his pretty pink carrier. Yea, I said 'his', poor Mickey- first gay guinea pig. Ever. Luckily, he's a very happy fellow who is always fed well. He never complains about the outfits he's forced to endure, because he gets carrots!

Happy Thanksgiving to all.

Here's a question for everyone: Who did you love before Vincent hit your radar?
I loved Ewan McGregor. He was fantabulous in Moulin Rouge. He has an infectious smile. Way before that it was Pierce Brosnan when he was on Remington Steele. Love that black hair/blue eye combo. Now its VDO of course who has captured my imagination. He has that certain something that I am unable to describe. Purrrrr....

Science and Religon...

are not mutually exclusive. The following is a bit from the October issue of Scientific American. Every month Michael Shermer writes a column called the Skeptic. His article (Darwin on the Right) is summarized with six points:
1. Evolution fits well with good theology.
2. Creationism is bad theology. Calling God a watchmaker is belittling.
3. Evolution explains original sin and the Christian model of human nature.
4. Evolution explains family values.
5. Evolution accounts for specific Christian moral precepts.
6. Evolution explains conservative free-market economics.

Damn, I wish I'd written that. The entire article should be read for full appreciation. Doesn't he seem reasonable? There's your dose of common sense for the day. I do sincerely hope I have not offended anyone. This comes very close to my own philosphy as a scientifically trained person and a religous one as well. And to all my Jewish friends, I say you were the first, the most special people, the very foundation of all Christian religons, deserving of sincere respect.

I Want Some of This

VDO/BG: The Romantic Ideal

[disclaimer: these are only my poor random thoughts]
It is a constant source of fascination to me that so many women idealize the BG character. Well why not, after all, through out time women have romantized all sorts of male heroic figures. The BG character calls out to the heart of the lonely woman. Most women would like someone to adore them and love them for who they really are. It can be the ultimate female fantasy. Someone to be sensitive in private, but strong and dominating in public. He's also someone who is secretly lonely.
Additionally, the BG character has a sad childhood history which he managed to overcome. The whole possibility that he could have gone the other way, to the dark side, with such a background suggests a bit of a naughty side to his personality in certain situations. This is very alluring because he could be dangerous if provoked.
Another factor is the physicality of the man who plays BG. He is a large, athletically built man with the face of an avenging angel. Someone who really could protect (and serve) if need be. He is no poser, he is an alpha male type that many women find irresistable.
Here is a man consumed with a noble purpose, he's focused on his task to rid the world of bad guys. Unexpectantly, he has a romantic epiphany because he encounters *---* (mrsbg for example). This woman is his psychic match. He realizes then that life is more than the job. His sexuality is reawakened as never before all because of *---*. Naturally under these circumstances he is the sweetest, most intuitive lover ever.
This love match must be made with someone who is equally as clever. BG would only be turned on by a smart girl. She might even possess areas of knowledge that he is less informed of. He finds her enchanting, as she does him. They make each other laugh on the dreary days. They live happily ever after, not smoothly or uneventfully, but they are fiercely loyal to one another. This loyalty can be strained occasionally, but it is an unbreakable bond. Thus, they would each leave behind their lonely pasts.
[additional disclaimer: sometimes a lonely girl thinks too much]