This is something my sister sent me that I found quite amusing. Apologies to anyone who has already encountered this...
Annual Neologism Contest
Once again The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. The winners are:
1. Coffee (n.) the person upon whom one coughs
2. Flabbergasted (adj.) appalled over how much weight you have gained
3. Abdicate (v.) to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach
4. Esplanade (v.) to attempt an explanation while drunk
5. Willy-nilly (adj.) impotent
6. Negligent (adj.) describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown
7. Lymph (v.) to walk with a lisp
8. Gargoyle (n.) olive-flavored mouthwash
9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller
10. Balderdash (n.) a rapidly receding hairline
11. Testicle (n.) a humorous question on an exam
12. Rectitude (n.) the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists
13. Pokemon (n.) a Rastafarian proctologist
14. Oyster (n.) a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.) the belief that when you die, your soul flies onto the roof and gets stuck there
16. Circumvent (n.) an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
These are great! You had me crying with laughter there.
thank you I needed that... well 2 and 3 certainly apply to me but 14 and 16 had me shtiching myself with laughter...
lotsa luv ann xxxxx
This is hysterical - was my laugh for the day! Especially the Pokemon as Josh is big into this right now. Except, he has no idea what a proctologist is! Thanks for sharing!
Color me flabbergasted!!
Very nice:-[
Post a Comment