I'm getting back to my old self. Test Case turned 22 and he has a new drug that he is taking along with the old one. All seems well with him for now. In one month he will get another blood test to check the theraputic levels (of the drugs) and liver enzymes.
I was quite depressed. For a time I came home from work everyday and slept for one hour until Warrior Princess got home from school. I caught a cold and got over it. I had nightmares. My dark passenger would not leave me alone.
This morning I got my jaw drilled with the titanium implant. In four months I will get the new fake tooth. My friend vicodin and I are staying home today.
Last weekend I got back on the blogsphere and looked around and I laughed and it felt good.
I really don't like descending into the black hole, but the dark passenger drags me down until I can fight him off. I will never do to my kids what was done to me. I hold that truth above all others. It is the steel rod in my spine which will never bend no matter what. And the well- wishings of friends never seen and far away lifts me up...
thank you.
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15 comments:
It is depressing when we can't
wave a magic wand that makes
our children well... we have
to be strong for them...
supermum, that's what they
think we are.
We do our best for them, that's
all we can do... that and pray
I think your dark passenger
needs to take another bus...
be gone, leave my friend Claire
alone
lotsa luv ann xxxxx
Hi Claire :)
Hang in there Claire, you are doing a remarkable job. Hope your tooth is better too. Ya gotta love prescription meds.
(((((Claire))))
From the dark night of the soul to happy drugs. Keep strong in the understanding that there are lots of people out here who love you.
Rose
xo
claire! i was so happy to see that you had stopped by today:D
so glad to have you back with us. praying that tc meds will work well for him, and that your mouth will be well soon.
Ah, Claire, I've been missing you and unable to imagine what all you've been dealing with. I'm heartened to read you here, today, sounding like the light is out there again.
Welcome back, C!
I missed you.
I know all about that horrid vortex of black pulling you down, hon. You know that and you were there for me when I was in that pit...even before I knew who you were,remember?
I hope you are feeling better!!!
xxx
Ann -you are so right, as usual.
back at ya, Tess :)
Jojo -fo'sho'
Rose -I do feel you coming through.
Kris -thank you so much!
Jocelyn -thank you for being such an enjoyable writer. I just luv reading your posts.
Hey Axe - We're members of the suckiest club around. I am getting stronger.
Sounds like you're doing better, Claire. I hope the new medication works. BTW, Where'd you get that "dark passenger" bit? Seems like I should know that. I used to refer to it as "my old friend."
Claire, glad to see you back. every day I check your blog hoping to see a new post. I hope your life turns joyful really soon.
I don't know where the Dark Passenger bit originates, Diesel, but I first came across it recently in Dexter.
Hey glad you are back and feeling a bit better.
I wish I could help you someway or somehow. I can't imagine dealing with kid troubles like that. It is so sad:( You are a strong person.
I'll pray for you.
val & diesel -yeah, Dexter's dark passenger is a bit different in that it directs him to kill other people (loosely termed in that he only kills murderers). It fits in my case cuz the dark passenger is always trying to drag me down and kill me. The dark passenger is in no way a friend!
wreckless -I think there are plenty of people who have worse things to deal with. I guess my particular background just makes me more suspectible to becoming depressed. It's a always a fight.
Claire, glad to see you back and I hope the new meds work for TC. I often decry the gene pool that I swam from. Although there was much genius, more often the overriding theme was madness. Here's to us, eh? Big hugs your way. You're a wonderful mama.
g -that's funny! I always say there's no cancer and heart disease in my family -just a bunch of alcoholics and insane people!
When we are helpless to make it all better for our precious children, it tears the flesh from our bones. That dark passenger has hitched a ride or so with me too along the way. I'm glad you're shaking him loose for now. Hold tight, bonny lass, nothing lasts forever. ((x))
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