Cuz We've All Had Too Much Shitty

"Come and get it
Lost it at the city limit
Say goodbye
'Cause they will find a way to trim it
Everybody
Lookin' for a silly gimmick
Gotta get away
Can't take it for another minute

Chitty chitty baby
When your nose is in the nitty gritty
Life could be a little sweet
But life could be a little shitty
What a pity
Boston and a Kansas City
Looking for a hundred
But you only ever found a fifty"

-Tell Me Baby, Red Hot Chili Peppers


POMCHI TIME!
I only wish the stupid flash didn't make
her eyes look so weird.
Cutest Puppy Ever!
My daughter is doggy sitting for some
friends on a cruise.

My New Old Self

Attempting to get my avatar back...

Stunned into Silence

There's been an evil rip in the psychic fabric of the collective unconsciousness and it has made me depressed. Virginia is my home state. My brother graduated from VT. Another brother is an English professor at another so.VA college. I have a son away at college. Yesterday there was a bomb scare and evacuation at the ISO (controls a big part of the CA electrical grid) and it is in my town. Everyone I personally know is fine, but I can't shake the malaise. I'm going to spend a little QT in my garden and figure out where to put my outside worm farm.

:(

Blogger's being a bitch. It dumped my avatar for no reason I can determine and it won't let me put it back! Aaaarrrrggghhhh!



P.S. Yeah! I think I figured out how to get it back

'Saving the World One Worm at a Time'

Me: "I'm thinking about starting a worm farm in the kitchen. You know I could compost all the fruit and veggie trimmings that go down the disposal everyday. We could just keep it right under the sink and I read that they don't even smell bad."

Long Suffering Hubby: "Are you dry shavin' me? I got a guinea pig in the living room, hermit crabs in the family room, a blind cat in the upstairs bathroom, an iguana in my bathroom, fire belly toads in the rec room, plus the two other cats and two large hairy retrievers that roam the house. No, I do not want a worm farm in the kitchen, sorry."


I just feel so misunderstood. :( wah, wah wah...
Don't even ask about the Iguana (unless you want to adopt a 4 foot long lizard).
In case you were wondering about wormfarming you can look here.
It is actually not such a bad idea.

What's the buzz? Tell Me What's Happening

"One thing I'll say for him- Jesus is cool"

-Caiaphas (according to Tim Rice)

"Hey JC, JC you're alright by me
Sanna Ho Sanna Hey Superstar"

"Everytime I look at you I don't understand
Why you let the things you did get so out of hand
You'd have managed better if you'd had it planned
Why'd you choose such a backward time
and such a strange land?
If you'd come today you would have reached a whole nation
Israel in 4 BC had no mass communication
Don't you get me wrong - I only want to know"

- Judas (from the rock opera, Jesus Christ Superstar)

I love this music and I had some alone time today while preparing Easter dinner, so I got to listen to this again.
Jesus, the original rebel- the original superstar.

My Funny Dog

Crystal makes the funniest faces. She is the sweetest dog in the whole world. I only wish she knew how to make fresh toast and hot chocolate. Other than that she's the perfect dog.
(and she could learn how to put away laundry, that might be helpful...)

A Walk with a Dog

A 10 year old boy's response to this prompt:

One day while you are out on a walk with a dog, the dog suddenly starts talking about where he used to live and how he would like to visit that place again. Write about what happens that day.

USE ONLY A NO. 2 PENCIL TO WRITE YOUR NARRATIVE.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"A Walk with a Dog" tells about me and a dog that take a walk in the big city. We walked so far that we got lost in another city that looked nice. Suddenly the dog told me that he remembered something and as I stepped up to it, it was a movie theater that I had gone to 2 years ago. I peeked inside a window when I saw people buying tickets and going inside to watch a movie. The dog was peeking in too. We left because we didn't have any money or tickets to watch a movie.
Then I settled off to home in a forest with the dog beside me. By 4 hours, it was dark out. Then I spotted something in the distance and it became an old log cabin. We became excited. Next, we went inside, got firewood, and started lighting up a fire in a small room. The dog walked into a small kitchen and made fresh toast and hot chocolate. We ate and drank it all up until our tummies became really full. After that, we put out the fire, washed the dishes, and found a comfortable bed to sleep in. Then we went under the covers as the dog turned out the light and snuggled in with me and fell asleep.
By the next morning we decided to go for a little walk in the forest as we pulled our clothes on and slowly walked out the door. Then we saw a pretty river in the distance and we wanted to get across the river, but it was too wavey to get across. Just then we saw a canoe sitting on a sandy beach. We climbed in and started towards the water then started down the river very fast. We were going so fast and there were big falls ahead of us, then the canoe was starting to tip to the other side. Just then, we fell down the falls but the dog grabbed on to something. It was a big branch and I pulled on it then it broke. Next, we fell all the way to the bottom and went beneath the waves and swam to shore and we were lost again.
We slowly walked along the shore very carefully then started walking back to the cabin, but there was no way to get back but across the dangerous river. The dog agreed to swim carefully then we swam back into the river and made it to shore safe.
After that, our clothes were soaked and wet. We put on clean clothes and went out of the door and ran home as fast as we could and saw the river again and smelled food somewhere. We saw a small town. We saw lots of food, but just as we started to walk in, the dog spotted something on the deck. It was money, a $5 bill. We saw a snack shop and went inside the little shop. We found a lot of interesting stuff inside, candy bars, salt, sugar, and chocolate. We gave the clerk the $5 bill. We even got a drink and some chocolate and a sandwich at the lunchshop and snackshop. After that, we found a sunny spot in a field and had a little picnic. By 2 whole days later, we remembered this place near the city, it was a street that led us into the forest.
Just then a sign said ..."Big City" -------> We turned right at the road then we saw the city and the theater again. We turned left and went into our own city and back into our neighborhood. We saw our house and went inside. We were very happy to be home. The dog and I thought of something we could do, watch a movie about a boy and a girl who get lost in the state of Nome, Alaska. That was the best thing we ever did, and that was the best day of the year ever.
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I only edited this very slightly for clarity. The spelling was correct (unless I made a typo). I thought this was very well done for a 10 year old who is "on the spectrum" as they say.

Too Cool!

I open my mailbox today and find the latest Scientific American with "The Dazzling Future of Plasmonics" on the cover. I'm not gonna lie, I mostly just look at the pictures in the articles about physics and maybe read the take home points if I feel very ambitious. I prefer to read about the genetics of alcoholism, the intelligence of ravens and the role of maternal serotonin on the fetal development. This was just too fun to pass up.
Here's the title and subtitle:

"A technology that squeezes electromagnetic waves into minuscule structures may yield a new generation of superfast computer chips and ultrasensitive molecular detectors

The Promise of PLASMONICS"

Later, in the blogosphere: I find Diesel as part of the new generation, delighting geeks everywhere, with his Picard transformation. Could he possibly know something about plasmonics that the rest of us are simply not privy too?? Hummmm.....?

Do Over: And Now for Something Completely Horrible

For about 12 hours yesterday I posted pictures of my oldest son's completely offensive t-shirts. I mentioned that I banned him from wearing them at home. I woke up this morning and deleted that post and the most awful pics of the collection. These are a few that aren't quite so bad. Test Case has a friend whose shirt is so bad his own grandma pays him NOT to wear it!
This is obviously done for shock value. And it works...
I don't think any girls would like these, but Test Case had a bad break up fairly recently so he is not happy with girls right now. Mostly these guys wear the (offensive)shirts under other shirts and sweatshirts. They wear them hanging around each other. I think there might be a secret contest to see who can be the most disgusting! The other issue that bugged me was that I posted a warning as to the rated "R" nature of the post, however, blogger being the bitch it can be decided the warning needed to come after the pics. Then it wouldn't let me edit. Argh!

I Want Your Reaction: California 4th Grade Writing Test

It is that time of year again. Time for the big state of California 4th grade writing test that all 4th graders are given. I am probably going to do something illegal here and post the writing prompt these kids were given. (But rest assured the testing is over so no tricky 10 year old can read my blog and get an advantage.)

Writing a Narrative

One day while you are out on a walk with a dog, the dog suddenly starts talking about where he used to live and how he would like to visit that place again. Write about what happens that day.

Well, whaddaya think my fellow blogging buddies? I don't want to reveal what I think but I am originally from the east coast where I was raised to believe California was 'the land of fruits and nuts'.

Later I may published an excerpt from the essay one of my special guys wrote. It reads more like an epic novel than a mere essay. It is highly creative and quite entertaining. This kid has a good imagination, a beginning, middle and end plus he uses descriptive language. I can hardly wait to see how it is scored because it doesn't follow precisely the prompt. (It is way better in my ever so humble opinion!)

Personal Responsibility: Will You Parents Just Go Get Some?

And while you are at it, give some to your whining, bratty, bullying children! There I said it. I am SICK to death of certain mothers who think their own sweet little issues are incapable of acting like shitheads. Do you think W's backpack got superglued shut 'cuz she's just the most darling generous soul?? Do you think N got pushed on the playground because he was just trying to be someone's best friend?? And why, oh why, do you feel you must micromanage your child's social life?

These little grade school bullies are gonna get their asses kicked when they go to high school unless they learn:
1. how to solve their own problems
2. the universe is not revolving around their heads
3. you have to be a friend in order to make a friend
4. to have a least a small amount of tolerance for different personalities
5. how to be kind

Have I left anything out?
When my (older) kids got in any sort of trouble at school (and one did a lot, not naming names
* test case* :) or anything), my first question was usually- Well, what did you do?
Funny I don't ever recall running to their teachers, "wah! wah! my poor baby, the innocent sweetheart was victimized! wah! wah!"
breathe.relax.repeat
I feel better now.

Poppy and Tessie: The Amazing Therapy Rats

I work in an elementary school with special needs kids who are fully included in regular classrooms. These kids have a diagnosis and most are high functioning "spectrum kids" (as in the autism spectrum). In addition there are a bunch of students at our school who have 'issues'. They fly under the diagnostic radar for a variety of problems ranging from social issues, reading glitches, bad parenting and even mental problems.

Twice a day, everyday all these kids all mix together for recess and then their frustrations can overlap and boil over. I have to brag a little about our school and say we have a good 'culture' and there really is not much teasing. Still, in all- shit happens and that's where Poppy and Tessie work their magic.

I haven't found an angry, frustrated, crying or sad child yet that can resist their charms. They never bite. They love to sniff, snuggle and play. Poppy and Tessie are sweet. But, why? I'm not sure. I just know that hardly a day goes by when I'm not thankful for their ratty little selves.
And that, my friends is how I've come to appreciate (domesticated) rats.

Feelin' the Love

I received such an amazing outpouring of love and gifts from my students in the form of valentines, flowers, balloons, candy, chocolates, cupcakes, brownies and probably some other stuff I've forgotten about. If I actually eat all the sugar (sugar IS my crack- so I can't, I can't!), I will be as fat as a hog by Friday.

Happy Valentines Day to all my friendly blogging buddies! Life is so much better when I think, laugh and learn with you all.
Happy Valentines Day to my hubby who is not romantic but shows his love when he makes sure my car has clean oil and the windshield is clean so it is safe to drive at night in the rain.
Happy Valentines Day to Test Case who is so much more than his epilepsy. He's a guy with a fantastic group of loyal friends who really knows how to show he cares.
Happy Valentines Day to FPM who is not just a football player. No one is more tenacious and hard working than he is- a real role model.
Happy Valentines Day to the Warrior Princess who is not just a silly 6th grader. She's smart and funny, someone who knows how to have fun but can strike a balance with work that needs to be done.
Finally, Happy Valentines Day to Crissy, Toby, Jigs, Tiger and Graykitty because you sweet dogs and cats really know how to make me feel human (and drive down the blood pressure).

Desiring Miss Daisy

Today while over at Central Snark, my computer mascots Dick and his trusty assistant Rex couldn't help but notice Miss Daisy. They were besotted with her. They insisted I post a picture of them so she could 'check them out'. Well, here ya go fellas. Ah, good luck with that...

(I sure hope Daisy doesn't want to know why Rex rides around on Rodan's shoulders. Rodan is a friend to Godzilla, after all, but still it could give her pause when considering his other obvious charms.)

Cure For the Postictal Blues?

Yeah it happened again. I was alone with him this time. Once again the bathroom was the scene. Funny how you find the strength to roll a 200+ lb. guy around onto his tummy. Anyway, I found found these things helpful:
chocolate chip cookies, LOCI and RHCP





Now the drug he is on has been maxed out. If he has another seizure in the next month or so, his doc will add on another med. Luckily no serious head bonking occurred, only a very sore left shoulder and hip.
He told me an interesting story about the state of his mind when he is 'gone'. He says he fights to get back, for his 'team'. He knows people are all around him urging him to get up, but they can't help him. They are frantic for him to get up before the 'other dude' who is across the river and is bad somehow. He fights hard because he doesn't want to disappoint his team. He doesn't know who these people are. They are close- bent over and kneeling down next to him, but they cannot touch him. He can see the 'other' struggling and he knows he has to be first.

Gave me the chills.

REST IN PEACE

"Brilliant on the race track, Barbaro always will be remembered for his brave fight for survival."

It Involves the Use of a Sawzall, So Why Isn't He Happy?

Dad said "Son, since you're home on winter break with nothing better to do than exponentially expanding my grocery bill and adding more muscles to your massive muscles, could you replace a couple of rotting boards in the front deck?"
"Sure, Dad."
A couple of boards turned into six plus a crosswise underneath supporting board (whatever the hell its called) which required ripping up all the boards. All that got done. The new boards have mysteriously not yet been stained. Probably a mommy-do list item for the summer. That's ok, I didn't really want to use the sawzall anyway...

Jigs: Guardian of the Ginormous Slumbering Manchild

Jigs was rescued by our family as a tiny 4 ounce just born babycat (along with three sisters who were placed in homes specially chosen by myself). This was long enough ago that her real name is Jigglypuff. You can see by the photos who she prefers to hang out with. But I ask you: Who bottlefed her every 2 hours?, Who wiped her little hiney with a warm cloth so she could go poo and not die of a bowl obstruction? Who convinced hubby to fork over $1200 so the vet could open her up from stem to sternum in order to dig out a piece of foam that she had eaten when she was 1 year old? Now, who does she give her love to?
Whata bitch!!

Guitar Heroine: This is Fun

I have been burning up the PS2 lately playing this game. I'm happy to report that I played "Freebird" today at 83% on 'easy'. Ha ha, that is so lame compared with all the young guys around here that play on 'expert'. Actually we have the latest version Guitar Hero II, which allows you to play with another person (either competitively or cooperatively). All I can say is that it is fun and does not involve shooting people, jacking cars and blowing the heads off creepy monster-killers in very creative ways. Most of the songs are great fun- classic rock mainly. All the kids around these parts are now interested in classic rock, so I cannot see a downside to granting permission to use your music. Watching the colored dots moving on the screen is oddly relaxing and hypnotic and because a lot of the music is good, this is not a background annoyance the way other video games are. You know, gunshots, explosions, chainsaws and screaming are not that fun to listen to when you are in the kitchen cooking dinner. "Shout at the Devil" , "Surrender", and "Carry on Wayward Son" - that I can do.