Antisocial Commentary Release Party...

OR what the heck are cyber-friends good for anyway?

Today is the day we've all been waiting for -Diesel's self-published book Antisocial Commentary From the Secret Files of the Mattress Police is finally out for sale. Why am I helping this dude in his shameless bid for publicity? First of all Diesel is a very funny fellow. He has a gazillion factoids stored in his giant throbbing dome and he manages to write about them all, sometimes simultaneously. Secondly, Diesel is an equal opportunity jester -he makes fun of everybody! Finally, I have come to believe that he is a genuinely good guy.

So go forth fellow bloggers* and check Diesel out. If you're not laughing out loud, you will at least be smiling.

*note to the Vixens, he also thinks our guy rocks!

You Can't Stop the Beat: Hairspray

I was completely charmed by this movie today. My guests, Warrior Princess and her BFF Maria also thoroughly enjoyed all the singing and dancing (and of course they were already big Zac Efron fans).

I never saw the original movie or the stage musical, so I didn't even know the plot. WP and I saw the preview when we went to see Nancy Drew (a good movie to see with a young daughter) with my mom in VA. She turned to me in the theatre and said, "We have to see that!". She is definitely my movie-musical buddy because there is not a chance in hell of convincing Hubby, Test Case or FPM to see any movie where there is singing involved.

The cast was wonderful. Nikki Blonsky plays Tracy the overweight main character, Tracy whose personality is so infectious, you cannot help but root for her. Christopher Walken usually gives me the creeps but he was sweet in his role as Tracy's dad and principle cheerleader. John Travolta plays Tracy's mom which sounds weird but it really works. Elijah Kelley plays Seaweed, Tracy's detentional hall dance buddy. He shows her some of his moves. He shows Tracy's BFF Penny (Amanda Bynes) his million megawatt smile and romance blooms. Naturally Tracy falls for Link (Zac Efron). And what's not to like about Queen Latifah? The bad girl mother-daughter duo of Michelle Pfeiffer and Brittany Snow don't fail to make you hate them.

I just thought it was highly entertaining. Yes, some of the 60's dance moves make people look like they are having seizures (and I would know, hehe), but still, in all there was nothing in this movie that would prevent you from enjoying it with your mom or likewise your kids.

That is my short but sweet movie recommendation for your weekend viewing pleasure.

Tai Shan, Meerkats, Reptiles and Random Aquatics

For the second year in a row, the baby panda (Tai Shan) at the National Zoo has made an appearance for me. Yes just for me! Can you believe it? Well he's hardly a baby anymore at age two, but he is still quite adorable.

And the meerkats -they had babies this year - playful, so tiny, and just starting to forage for a little food.




Can you find the chameleon? He is very hard to see. We were also at hand when the reptile keeper hand fed the veiled chameleon (crickets -you wanted to know!).
Click on the picture, it gets bigger.




AMAZONIA!


























Wanna Kiss?!

Home Again, Home Again, Jiggedy Jig

Ten days in Virginia might have been too much or not enough, depending...
Thank G-d I had the Warrior Princess by my side.
I saw All my sibs, one only briefly. Most of that was good fun that was funny. Then there was the drunken outburst from one brother that led me to declare him "a douche bag" to his face. I'm not sorry, cuz he really was acting like an asshole.
My mother was acting strangely childlike and it caused me to gaze upon her with a fearful eye, yet in some very important ways she is living her best life ever.
Auntie was friendly and nice, all faculties intact. The remaining non-drunken sibs and their offspring were for the most part friendly and we enjoyed getting to know them again. I like WP to hang out with her cousins, she doesn't have any here.
WP and I spent some real quality time together exploring D.C. She's only 11, so we still get along fabulously.
Back on the home front, the guys kept all animals healthy (and -bonus!- the house didn't smell bad!). Most of the plants and my garden survived. We were missed. I brought gifts.
Happy, happy, joy, joy.

My Vacation to the Front Lines

I flew into BWI last night. The Warrior Princess and I are visiting my family in Virginia. There's a big fight going on between my mom and her sisters. One of the aunties lives here with mom. I love them both (I'm estranged from the other sister, she's a mean wack job). So I walk the balance beam, careful not to make either mad. Doesn't this sound like fun? People always want to know why I live so far away. Hahaha, I'm smart that's why. Actually it will be fun to visit with my sibs and to jump on the metro and see D.C. with WP.
We will make the very best of it.

Return of the Pomchi Plus Summer Fun, Lizards and Toads, oh my?

This is Ignatia, AKA, Iggs enjoying the summer heat and her personal lettuce planter:


The fire-belly toad tank needed cleaning so here's a look at them. I think they are beautiful and they call to each other in what can only be described as mellifluous yet somewhat haunting tones. The blue anoles (one is shown on the left) are the tank mop up crew. They run around and eat the extra crickets, mealworms and beetles that the toads miss. I know Rose probably has these running wild all over in Florida! Rose, I hope you appreciate the mass of insects these guys slurp up!























Here's the summer fun part:


The ever-creative Test Case and his friend set up their own version of the old Slip'nSlide for WP and her BFF to enjoy. The big guys even used it but I was threatened with certain death if I posted any of that!

I have really been cranking out the housework that I like to get done every summer. I'm giving myself a break today and my favorite furfriend, Maggie is visiting today. She is the puppy my daughter babysat for ten days and she has not forgotten or stopped loving us. My how she has grown and you can see how she has lost her fluffiness.

Someone Punched Me in the Head

or maybe it just feels that way. Dental surgeries have been checked off the list. To the baby-faced endodontist (root canal) I say "Well done, sir. You may look like you are only 14, but you really know your shit."
To my own dentist (extraction & bone graft) I say "Thank you for not scrimping on the novacaine or vicodin."
In other news, Mama Duck abandoned her nest and thus the embryos have perished. The nest was in a singularly awful location. I learned much about duck nesting behavior from my research into this matter. It seems that up to 85% of mallard duck nests fail. Mother ducks often need a year or two in order to get it right. Ground nesting birds are subject to greater predation rates, so a success rate of 15% is all that is needed to replenish the population. The sad reality of nature is that we must accept what cannot be changed *thanks to Ann for reminding me of that*.


How about those Sierra Nevada Mountains? Beautiful and as of last weekend still covered with a bit of snow. This is a view from about 8,000 feet near Silver Lake from the back of the Goldwing. It was a glorious day.


I love the fact that I live close to these mountains.

I Want to Fix Something

Lord, anything right about now. There's a duck nest in the empty lot next door. When the babies hatch, she'll have a hell of a time getting them to the reservoir (too many fences and the babies must walk). Not sure there's anything I can do about that, but I sure want to save those ducklings. Heard the familiar thump, bump, whack! on Memorial Day emanating from Test Case's bathroom. Caesar boy up to his old tricks again. Damn sure there's nothing I can do about that either. I wish I could fix it, but really all I could do was shove a thickness of towel between his shoulder and the water faucet because it was beating him up pretty badly. All that was there between his head and the metal door railing was hubby's hand. It didn't seem to go on and on forever like it usually does. I'm getting USED TO THEM. shit, did i just say that?






How can I find the words to express my anger, frustration and misery towards the universe, towards fate for giving my son grand mal (now called tonic-clonic) seizures. Fuck, I am so sick of it. I am helpless, guilty and sad.
Everytime he has one I feel like a little piece of him is floating off into the ether, never to be heard of again. I pray his employers won't find some reason to sack him.
And yet, I am strangely grateful. He is alive. He is functioning. His true friends have stuck by him.
Life moves on...
So here's a funny little thing that happened last night. I took the Warrior Princess shopping for her first ever high-heeled shoes for the 6th grade completion ceremony. She proudly walked around in the house with them on, and then exclaimed "Hey mom, these shoes make your butt wag."
That's my girl.

A Porch With a View....

or what twenty-somethings do when they get bored. In the middle of the night. With their sister's chalk. I often say Test Case is 21 going on 17. He would be SO insulted if he heard me say that. Hey, I have evidence:

Happy Face Court, it's like crop circles
without the aliens

The plans for said court drawing:



Last weekend, it was the Gangsta/Gangster party. That's my pride and joy on the right.
Complete with 'grill'. He toils away at his restaurant job so he can have all the latest accessories.


But then he has to go and be a bad influence on his little sister...
(who then had to run across the street and see the decorations only to be summarily booted out by big brother)




To be fair these fellows have theme parties throughout the year and they have done Hollywood, Halloween, GQ, and Luau parties as well.
So he's not the towering intellectual I dreamed he'd be back when he was 5 and he knew the scientific names of all the dinosaurs. He's alive. He's working. He does his best to keep track of his meds so he doesn't wind up a gibbering idiot from time to time. Once in a while he enjoys a good party. Big Picture Idea: I'm fine with that.
Could he do more? Yes, and hopefully he will figure out what he wants to do with the rest of his life. He is on his own timetable.

Karma Bites Me in the Ass, Sort of...

In a flash of age-related forgetfulness, I missed the Volunteer sign-up for the Warrior Princess's swim team. Everyone must sign up or you don't get to come back next season (or so they say). In all the years WP has swam, I have never shirked my duty. This time, as one of the slackers, I was randomly assigned to The Snack Bar. Yuck and double Yuck! I ran the football stadium snack bar while FPM played HS football. It was fun at the time, but really hard work and I was glad it was over.

I must admit sheepishly, that I was tempted to call back the swim snack bar lady and lie and say I wouldn't be attending this meet. No Way could I ever really do that (catholic upbringing?).

I showed up and worked my shift. Know what? It wasn't so bad. There were enough people that I was able to run over and watch WP swim her races. I worked my shift and stayed to help them dismantle. I remembered why I did this in the first place (swim team is time consuming). She loves the sport. When the boys were young I logged countless hours driving to practices, clinics, games, tournaments and lessons for baseball, basketball, soccer and football. I'm certainly not inclined to do any less for the girl! I also signed her up for an instructional water polo league later this summer. The new HS opening up in our town this fall will have a pool, so she could play water polo in HS if she wants (in 3 years).

I missed the sign-ups, felt like I got screwed with snack bar duty, knew it was my own damn fault, and was mad at myself, but the final result turned out just fine. WP swam well and she is now tired (always a plus). I was reminded why everyone needs to pull together and do the work, even the horrifying snack bar work. We do it for our children. Eventually they really do appreciate it.

"Yarp!" What do the Ming Dynasty and Hot Fuzz Have in Common?

Well, me of course. I received an early surprise Mother's Day gift of a plane ticket to Oregon where I visited FPM. It just so happens he turned 19 on Sunday. I rolled into Portland early Saturday afternoon, my son picked me up and we drove about an hour to McMinnville where he attends Linfield College. He is a football player for the Linfield Wildcats, hence the name of my blog.
FPM needed to spend some quality time in the library researching a paper he is writing having to do with the Mongols, Manchus, Chinese Ming Dynasty and the Great Wall. Oh and I Hate libraries -NOT! And did I mention he seems to have expanded in muscular proportion? He's so much bigger than I remember from just this winter.
All that researchin' built up our appetites so we had to go out and have a wonderful dual Mother's Day/Birthday dinner. We discussed movies. I mentioned that I had heard Hot Fuzz was a good movie (thanks to MalnurturedSnay). FPM really wanted to see it, so I agreed. Guess what, it was hilfreakinlarious. Surely these people are channeling Monty Python.
The following day we Had to partake in a dual Mother's Day/Birthday breakfast. Gee that was delicious too. Getting the picture here? It was just a huge and wonderful surprise (thanks Hubby!). I loved seeing the beautiful campus (flowers everywhere!) and spending time in that cute little town (3rd Street! -bead shop!). The best part was seeing my son who I miss but at the same time I am really happy about where he is and what he is doing. And I actually got home in time to have another Mother's Day dinner with the rest of the fam (stuffed like a porker I am!).
If it makes Mama happy then, it is "For the greater good" (see that movie!).

The Day the Principal Saved the Bees

The honeybees are swarming at our school. Right near the parking lot. They are in transition, getting ready to find a permanent home. They have been in this tree for about 4 days. Some unenlightened people complained. The principal called the school district and asked them to take care of it. Naturally, they sent a guy out who was just going to blast them with chemicals and kill them all. They're honeybees! The principal of our school sent the chemical dude packing ( I love that guy!). He called all around and found a beekeeper who is coming out and taking them away to a nice new home. Get this -he uses a special low-suction vacuum device to suck them up so they won't be hurt. I snapped some shots of the swarm because it looks so awesome. It is huge. In the middle photo it is in the upper left side of the tree. Every chance I get I lecture the kids at school about the importance of bees to our ecosystem, so another teacher and I are going to put together a little book about our special swarm just for our school. Can you guess the title?

Mrs. Grumpy Grumpington

I am just so pissed off right now about my teeth. Yesterday I was coming off an adrenaline surge related to Test Case and the seizure that he did not have after all (thank you, God). I went to the dentist for the usual cleaning of my usually clean and terrific teeth. I have lovely teeth but they actually suck.
I have to have a root canal on #14 (upper left) and a removal of #30 (lower right) due to an extreme abcess. Then I will have to a have a bone graft and an implant into my jaw in order to have a tooth there. It takes 4 months for the graft to heal, another 4 months for the titanium pin to heal and only then do I get a (fake) tooth.
I. Hate. Dental. Work.
And I have a funny feeling my insurance won't cover the implant. Why should it, after all to make a bridge which they would cover means grinding down and crowning two other perfectly fine teeth. Doesn't that make good sense?
F*** insurance companies and the horses they rode in on.

Cuz We've All Had Too Much Shitty

"Come and get it
Lost it at the city limit
Say goodbye
'Cause they will find a way to trim it
Everybody
Lookin' for a silly gimmick
Gotta get away
Can't take it for another minute

Chitty chitty baby
When your nose is in the nitty gritty
Life could be a little sweet
But life could be a little shitty
What a pity
Boston and a Kansas City
Looking for a hundred
But you only ever found a fifty"

-Tell Me Baby, Red Hot Chili Peppers


POMCHI TIME!
I only wish the stupid flash didn't make
her eyes look so weird.
Cutest Puppy Ever!
My daughter is doggy sitting for some
friends on a cruise.

My New Old Self

Attempting to get my avatar back...

Stunned into Silence

There's been an evil rip in the psychic fabric of the collective unconsciousness and it has made me depressed. Virginia is my home state. My brother graduated from VT. Another brother is an English professor at another so.VA college. I have a son away at college. Yesterday there was a bomb scare and evacuation at the ISO (controls a big part of the CA electrical grid) and it is in my town. Everyone I personally know is fine, but I can't shake the malaise. I'm going to spend a little QT in my garden and figure out where to put my outside worm farm.

:(

Blogger's being a bitch. It dumped my avatar for no reason I can determine and it won't let me put it back! Aaaarrrrggghhhh!



P.S. Yeah! I think I figured out how to get it back

'Saving the World One Worm at a Time'

Me: "I'm thinking about starting a worm farm in the kitchen. You know I could compost all the fruit and veggie trimmings that go down the disposal everyday. We could just keep it right under the sink and I read that they don't even smell bad."

Long Suffering Hubby: "Are you dry shavin' me? I got a guinea pig in the living room, hermit crabs in the family room, a blind cat in the upstairs bathroom, an iguana in my bathroom, fire belly toads in the rec room, plus the two other cats and two large hairy retrievers that roam the house. No, I do not want a worm farm in the kitchen, sorry."


I just feel so misunderstood. :( wah, wah wah...
Don't even ask about the Iguana (unless you want to adopt a 4 foot long lizard).
In case you were wondering about wormfarming you can look here.
It is actually not such a bad idea.

What's the buzz? Tell Me What's Happening

"One thing I'll say for him- Jesus is cool"

-Caiaphas (according to Tim Rice)

"Hey JC, JC you're alright by me
Sanna Ho Sanna Hey Superstar"

"Everytime I look at you I don't understand
Why you let the things you did get so out of hand
You'd have managed better if you'd had it planned
Why'd you choose such a backward time
and such a strange land?
If you'd come today you would have reached a whole nation
Israel in 4 BC had no mass communication
Don't you get me wrong - I only want to know"

- Judas (from the rock opera, Jesus Christ Superstar)

I love this music and I had some alone time today while preparing Easter dinner, so I got to listen to this again.
Jesus, the original rebel- the original superstar.

My Funny Dog

Crystal makes the funniest faces. She is the sweetest dog in the whole world. I only wish she knew how to make fresh toast and hot chocolate. Other than that she's the perfect dog.
(and she could learn how to put away laundry, that might be helpful...)