Stick a Fork in Me, I'm Done!

School's out for Summer! I am seriously dating myself here, but back in junior high my best friend and I used to sit in her room and sing Alice Cooper songs, burn incense and talk about boys. Now my daughter is in junior high and I think the current music craze might be Fall Out Boy. She doesn't burn incense, but she loves scented lotions. As for the the boy talk, I don't know and I am not sure I want to either. Today was the last day of school and I allowed her to "go out to lunch" with her friend to McDonald's. The plan was for them to walk there themselves and go on to the aquatic center afterwards for swim team practice. All of these places are located within about one half mile. This afternoon, the other kid's mom called my house to talk to her. Apparently she told her mom that she was going to our house after school (and nothing about the lunch plans). This mom's hair was on fire she was so mad. She drove all around looking for them and she found them. You see, the girls had extra time so they stopped at WalMart (next to the aquatic center) to look at bikinis (yikes!). Neither of them had their cell phones with them (by accident). I trust my kid and didn't see anything wrong with these plans. I didn't even think the side trip was that big of a deal. I think the other mom thinks I'm irresponsible as she would not have agreed for her kid to do this. I kind of feel bad, but WP knows that her freedom would go away the instant she is caught in a lie (she learned from watching her brothers make their way through the teenage years). What do you think? Am I horribly misguided or is the other mom overprotective? (btw- her kid is terrific, very down to earth and trustworthy in my opinion.)

Virginia is for Lovers...

At least that's what the slogan says and my dear newlywed little sister would probably agree except, technically, they got married in Maryland. I was there eating, drinking and making merry for about four days. We had the ladies luncheon and manicure, the rehearsal dinner, the bachelorette limo party through Virginia wine country and finally, the deluxe wedding complete with open bar, appetizers and a full dinner including palette cleansing between courses (and I don't want to forget the yummy amaretto wedding cake) . Yikes, my ass must be the size of Utah. But who could tell? - it was neatly covered by my floor length pink matron of honor gown.

Virginia wine country: somewhere west of D.C.

















This is the grounds of the Strong Mansion
on Sugarloaf Mountain in Maryland:



Nieces as flower girls:


















Bridal party flowers:




Wedding Cake!




My sister married a great guy. He's a short red head (as is my sis) and he's an actual rocket scientist (sis is not a rocket scientist, but she's smart enough for government work)! A little dude with a giant throbbing brain. And he loves my sister and spared nothing to make her happy on their wedding day, so he's fan-flippin'-tastic in my book. Come to think of it, I was almost the tallest person in that wedding party with the only other tall person being my brother, who is also the bride's twin brother. He's an English professor, so he made a toast later involving the recital of a long, lovely romantic poem. I wish I could remember it but it flew out of my head in all the hubbub. Now, it's back to the salt mines for me.

Tagged by da Squirrel

Quirky rollercoaster of pain and love



I was tagged by the Lone Grey Squirrel to do a six word memoir. There you have it. It was easy to do, so I'm tagging Grundir the Implacable, G, Axe, Candace and the Electric Orchid Hunter. These are but a few of the many bloggers that I have enjoyed reading over the last year and a half.

Men in Skirts, Whites in Dreads and Oregon Drivers

We went to Oregon last weekend. I missed my canine baby so that I could visit my real and actual offspring. What is the deal with Oregon drivers? They are simultaneously highly annoying and quite charming. They all drive the speed limit or less, even in the left lane. If the speed limit is 30 through Newberg, you can bet some asswipe is crawling along at 25. OTOH, while walking around anywhere in McMinnville you can be damn sure you won't get run over. People are meticulous about pedestrian right of way (as well they should be). Even college dudes driving jacked up trucks bumpin' the tunes will stop at a crosswalk and wait until you make up your mind whether or not you're crossing. Here in dangerous Cali, you take your life in your own hands if you walk anywhere. Everyone's in a hurry, cuz they're so dang important. You can tell because they all have a Borg-like ear implant. Scary!




While I was away my fire belly toads made sweet amphibious love and *squeal* hatched some fine tadpoles! See picture below. I took them out of the parents' tank because toady hunger knows no bounds.
I was also gone a lot the previous weekend because the Warrior Princess has volunteered at The Grace Foundation.
It required a bit of training and she is so loving this outfit. I will do a separate post about this wonderful organization that saves neglected and abused horses while providing therapeutic riding for many different special needs children.


The tadpoles:

What is the deal with men wearing skirts? Honestly, it's not an attractive look, but we saw two different men in a single day while hanging out in Oregon. Ok, one dude was a goofy college kid that we've heard is known as "kilt guy". The other was an actual middle aged man in a restaurant and it was a freaking skirt, not a traditional Scottish kilt type outfit. Hmmm?

The final thing that bugged me about my trip up north was the frequency of white people with dreadlocks. I'm sorry but that just looks wrong. It just makes them look like crazy people who can't be bothered with personal hygiene. Eewww, especially you, woman at the Lewis and Clark College Track Invitational, rats could climb in there, build a nest and live happily ever after.


I leave you with this final image. Mother squirrel enjoying sunflower seeds at the bird bath. I sure hope she brings her babies by for a visit sometime. I guess if she's really a good squirrel mom she won't do that though.

The Raptors That Live Next Door

A pair of Red-shouldered Hawks have taken up residence in my neighborhood and it is nesting season. I managed to get a few shots of the female from my film camera. I think it's the female because according to my field guide, the females are larger and I've seen them together. In fact I observed them mating at this perch, but unfortunately I didn't get the avian porn on film.

This is an Oregon Junco.

Goldfinch

Violets, my favorite flower.

From this perch on another day she swooped down and grabbed a quick snack of meadow vole. My ability to shoot wildlife is limited because these birds sit (oh yeah, it's the birds' fault, heh, heh) and stare at the field for a long time and I could never tell when they would take off. I do know when they are near because they have a distinctive cry. Normally shy, the Red-shouldered Hawk isn't usually seen around where people frequent the way the Red-tail Hawks are. I've seen Red-tail Hawks take Mourning Doves right out of my backyard. Maybe this mom-to-be is checking out the availability of easy meals. OMG, Mia only weighs six and a half pounds!

Death Took Too Long

Death took too long
to find her
small, gray, quiet
it came bit by bit
the guilt
came in torrents
Gray Kitty's not a proper name
but that was it for her
unassuming, purring
till near the end
Did I do right by you?


(Am I a writer of poetry? Not only no, but hell no. These are just some words that fell out of my head today in my sorrow over the death of one of my cats, the blind, the elderly, Gray Kitty. It was her time.)

Gray Kitty
The stray that chose us many years ago.
R.I.P.
March 20, 2008
Lay in the sunshine...

The BIG 5-OH! Oh No!

Ouch! I recently suffered through an unfortunate milestone birthday. Here's the good part:

Meet Mia!

My birthday present and new addition to the family "zoo". She's a pom-chi-poo. Part pomeranian, chihuahua and poodle -in other words, your basic mutt. She is 4 months old and weighs 6 pounds so far. What's not to love? I've been busy training and socializing her so I haven't made my usual blog rounds. My animal loving blogpals will understand. Mia has made me forget all about starting another half century (not really, but I can dream). I'm sure I'll post lots more pictures later and bore everyone silly.

Shout Out for the Clay Pigeon

That Diesel has gone and done it again, check out The Clay Pigeon. It's an online humor zine featuring some of the most Hi-larious writers in blogland. This new site is the Mighty Diesel's little dahlin'. He is also the maestro behind Mattress Police and Humor-blogs dot com.

There is something for everyone at the Clay Pigeon - for everyone who doesn't mind LOLing once in a while, that is.

Engineering the Social Lives of Children (for adults by adults)

The current culture of childrearing says we must micromanage the social lives of our children, for their own good, of course. The first thing that got me thinking about this was a post I read last year about some teachers at a preschool that decided to ban legos. The kids were forming alliances and generally 'not playing fair'. Later I read about a school banning the playing of tag at recess, then, the very school I work at banned tag. A local park in my area has a "No Running" sign (yeah, wtf!). Good-hearted, well meaning people often cannot refrain from stepping in and trying to prevent children from Hurting Themselves and Others (not to mention lawsuit prevention as well).

Let me briefly digress and point out that in my work, we often use "social stories" or "scripts" to help teach autistic spectrum kids how to interact with others. By the rote learning of verbal cues these kids can be better integrated into mainstream society which is usually the goal. This works very well in high functioning autistics because you are giving them a useful tool that helps them communicate. Some of my students even attend weekly afterschool (private) sessions in RDI (Relationship Development Instruction).

In this post though, I am referring to your average elementary school kid who learns how to get along with others by simply playing with other children. They learn by trial and error. They will sometimes model adult behavior (trying it on for size). The premise of the microengineers is that everyone is equal. I don't think this is the way it is in the real world. Personality, circumstance, serendipity and our genes all dictate how we behave. We should teach our children to be kind and to try and always make the best of things, however in the case of mild conflict they should be left to work it out on their own.

In the game of tag, someone is always faster, more agile and they might always win. Should the game really be banned because kids' feelings might get hurt? (Or they might fall down and get a scrape? Oh no! A skinned knee? Time to lawyer up) In the case of the banned legos the teachers over-reacted and over-thought the whole process (in addition to the ban they had long intensive meetings with each other and the children, meant I'm sure, to be instructive). Left to their own devices, I think the kids the would have solved the whole issue of the 'elitist' legotown. I would have let them try.

Yes, you must step in if there is physical aggression, but if they are all trying to figure out their place in the social fabric, let them have at it. It is important to instill a culture of inclusion and kindness in your home, daycare and school, but then let the children go and learn. Stop hovering people! Let them learn how to react with each other. Some will be natural leaders that others will want to be around. Some will be shy and reclusive, some will be drama queens (and kings!). Everyone is different, we weren't made exactly alike and no amount of pedagogy will ever change that.

REST IN PEACE

TOBY : ? - Feb.1, 2008
My sweet prince
rest in peace
"...in the arms of the angels may you find some comfort there..."


Your heart was big
You loved your people and did a good job

And those better be big-ass angels, cuz you at 95 pounds, you're no lightweight!
We always felt safe with you
See you in heaven someday, in the mean time hang out with Jake, Kolya and Herc
Ashley would like to say "I love you" one last time, she's sorry she wasn't able to.

Weather Break with Signs of Life

A pair of mallards. Trailside, American River Parkway

Moss

Ferns grow on rock too

This tree grows from between two rocks. I can only imagine that after germination, as it grew it pushed its way between the rocks.

Buckeye germination, above and below. Buckeyes drop enormous amounts of huge seeds. It's a strange tree, being the last to bud out and bloom, but the first to drop its leaves at the end of summer, well before fall.

Antique sluice

Ibizan hound (8 mo.old puppy). I just happen to run into an acquaintance on the trail, also enjoying the oh-so-brief respite from the much needed rain.

American river just below the Folsom dam and Folsom prison.

Beautiful greens after a rain. At the end of summer, this will all be brown and dried up.

School Dayz

I love working with kids, and they make me laugh all the time. Here is a short collection from the Forever Unknown Elementary School.

A special needs 4th grader's whispered reaction to me about another kid, a blowhard in training, pontificating on and on about nothing anyone is interested in:

"This guy is making me sick!"

Written by a 5th grader on a test in response to the question, "Do you think Doug could make it across the pass on his own?"

"I think that Doug could of made it across becaus if Charlie a coger (note: that's cougar) made it than a hummen bean could do it."

Overheard exchange between two 3rd graders:

"Your mom is fat!"

"Well your mom doesn't wear a bra!"

In first grade the teacher tells the kids her son turned 21 recently and one of her students (the Hellion, see below) says:

"Wow he can drink beer now!"

This is kind of sad. During Red Ribbon Week (Just Say No!), the second grade teacher was talking to her students about drugs and alcoholic. One boy raises his hand and says,

"My dad is an alcoholic!"

During a 4th grade discussion of geography, specifically the North American continent, a boy raises his hand to explain:

"My dad said we should take over Canada because there are very little people there and nothing but ice."

teacher: "Well I'm sure your dad was kidding."

kid: "No he wasn't."

Just in case you've lost faith, I witnessed an act of kindness yesterday between the current first grade Hellion (multiple suspensions, detensions, you get the idea) and a diminuative Down's syndrome girl in his class. She veered off the path to lunch and he gently put his arm around her and, speaking softly, he directed her back to the cafeteria.

Madonna Visits Northern California

Madonna was spotted hanging out with her BFF, Ignatia, in a posh little northern California town this past holiday season. Er, that would be Madonna the Iguana who needed a place to stay when her folks decamped to the east coast for vacation. Luckily Iggs (as she's commonly known) forgot about the last time Madonna visited and nearly bit her (and only was interrupted by long suffering hubby who received the slashing in her place, but we really shouldn't have mentioned that, ok?).

Madonna the Queen of the World

Ignatia the Sweet Hostess

Iggs heads for a morning drink

Madonna makes sure Iggs is only getting a drink

Jiggs the cat stops in for a snack

Madonna, Iggs and Jiggs all enjoy dark leafy greens

No one was hurt during this visit, unless you count Iggy's pride when Madonna jumped down from on high and climbed on top of her. Both Iguanas are used to cats drinking their water and eating their food (thankfully). The mitigating factor here was that it is winter and the girls are in a kind of slow motion semi-hibernation where they don't eat much and sleep a lot on their heating pads (and get covered up at night and generally spoiled a bit). Madonna left fully refreshed and ready to nap some more when her family picked her up.
Oh, the life of a celebrity...

AVP-R, Keepin' It Real

I often read blogs written by people in the UK and they just don't understand American's obsession with guns. I'm going to explain.
First of all, you never know when Alien monsters will drop by for a visit and want to use your body as an incubator or for food. Predator monsters might be nearby as well chasing the Alien monsters and feel the need to stop and hunt a hapless human.
Most of all, the government might be lying to you. You never know when the government might need to blow your town up to prevent further Alien monster infestations and you might need to fight your way to freedom.

You see, it's all about freedom.

"We should have landed in London instead"

PS. My boys made me go see "Aliens vs Predator Requiem" with them. It was gory and I spent at least 1/3 of the movie with my eyes covered. A real mother-sons bonding moment if ever there was one. I still think Diesel could make good caption contest hay with this movie.

What They're Learning at College

Zero Punctuation from Escapist Magazine dot com.
You send your baby off to a nice private school and one day he wanders home. So we've been enjoying some mother-son bonding moments over these crude yet hilarious cartoon offerings that review video games. This guy is the King of Snark. His review of Guitar Hero III was spot-on. I picked one with somewhat less naughty language so as not to give anyone a case of the vapors. Enjoy!

A Romance Reader's Delight: Real Magic

I've never read anything quite like it ... er, because I don't usually read romance novels. But I'm nothing if not a loyal blog-pal so I'm pimping another book, Real Magic.

Real Magic, a romance-fantasy, tells the story of a successful, selfish businessman named Leo and a young, hot, but confused woman named Cassie. Their unlikely meeting and fateful romance is the heart of this novel. The fantasy part occurs via Cassie. Is she a witch who is evil or a victim of evil? Throw in Cassie's annoying mother and a surly, self confident bad guy and presto, you have conflict. Oh yeah, there's lots of sex too (if you like that kind of thing, wink, wink!). So head on over to Brian's place and check it out. I think Chapter 1 is up for free.

Do you think true love is the real magic?

Good Day Sunshine

I went Christmas shopping today. It felt good and I spent a little too much money. I didn't feel impatient with the enormous woman who decided to start looking for her checkbook after her items were rung up and then the register wouldn't read (or accept) her check. I went to four different stores. I wasn't angry when the guy in the big truck went the wrong direction in the parking lot and almost smashed me.

WP washed the dogs and now they smell good again.

FPM comes home next week!

TestCase sold another car!

Hummingbirds are visiting my new feeder.

My Freakin' Recovery, OK?

Here is a photo of Motorcycle Suicide Guy's impromptu memorial. I was effing pissed off about it because I had to drive by it everyday, twice a day. Oh, oh, why be angry with the poor bastard?
I happen to still be mad at my father the alcoholic/drug addicted jerk who offed himself when I was a kid. He terrorized us with his attempts before getting it right.
Motorcycle Suicide Guy also has kids. I found out more about him through a motorcycle forum he was a member of. Dude had a lot of friends. Around 200 people gave his widow $10 grand. He planned it all out right down to a note and a phone call to police at the bottom of the hill at 5:00 am, so that his smashed up remains wouldn't have to be around for too long. I guess he just snapped. So I got over being mad and I started to go around to the side entrance to avoid the giant photo, flowers, teddy bears, bad energy, and other assorted mementos.
Now the Dead Dad Days are nearly over. That would be the anniversary dates of the deaths of my biodad, stepfather and father-in-law: Dec.1, 2 & 3. I liked my FIL the best cuz he actually liked me, daresay, maybe loved me like a daughter.
So after obsessive ruminations, a few bad dreams and a short trip on the crazy train, I got over it. I don't even think "Stupid DoucheBag!" when I might pass the nonworking waterfall. In fact, I'll bet it will be fixed as soon as they can finish cleaning out all of MSG's body bits from the filter. I am so over this.

Now for something completely different. This is the photo that I WON'T be sending out with the Christmas cards:

These are some of my ab fab fav people hamming it up with daddy's cigars. This goes into a 5x7 frame for hubby as a Christmas gift. They are my reasons to be grateful and I never stop knowing that.


AND: Return of the Pomchi, part 2
My friends are going on a Christmas cruise, so I get Maggie for 2 whole weeks!! Yippee!
Everyone around here loves her, even Crystal and Toby the carefree retrievers (well, maybe not long suffering hubby who has had to learn to like living in somewhat of a zoo).